He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
