I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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