College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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