you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
