What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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