Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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