i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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