yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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