No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
