i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
