Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
