Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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