Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
only you would photoshop your dick
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
