good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my liver is dry heaving
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
