Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
