Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
