Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
