just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
