Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
