she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
