He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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