u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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