Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
