Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
