Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would ride that face into the sunset
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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