Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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