Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
