Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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