If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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