are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
