so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
