Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My room smells like vodka and shame
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
