Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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