I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
