dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
