At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i think im in europe. pls send help
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