like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
