Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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