yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
