Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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