Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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