just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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