Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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