I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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