i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
