I could have mohawked her pubes.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
