I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
