Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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