He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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