The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
