STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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