ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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