I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
