I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
