Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
