question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
