no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
