he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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