next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
