there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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