You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
