It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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