We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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